by remembering where I've come from
I'll learn where I'm going.
Because I don't know.
I'm making a map of my heart.
Compass and telescope
aren't much help here.
This journey is in landmarks.
Ink stains. Tears.
The echoes of laughter.
I'm making a map of my heart.
I blow the dust off old boxes of memories
I haven't looked at in years.
And I find things
discover things
I didn't even know I'd lost.
I'm making a map of my heart.
Smell of baby lotion.
Color of baby blanket.
I sweep the cobwebs off old toys
and turn the pages of childhood books
and I smile.
I'm making a map of my heart
and I'm learning things
just as I'd hoped
but some of them surprise me.
I'm making a map of my heart.
As I walk among family and friends
new and old
I look through the faces for
just that one that is
you.
I know you are here, I just don't know
where.
I'm making a map of my heart.
And maybe
when I find that place
that X-marks-the-spot
maybe I'll also find the courage
to show you that map
where you are.
Ah, your blog is like a delicious breath of fresh air :)
ReplyDeleteThat was comforting. Thanks, Carrots.
ReplyDeleteYou are a lovely woman. I'm excited to see (and spend all day with) you tomorrow! :)
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful. Hearts are elusive creatures. The thing is, they're usually right, it's just that you can't always figure out what they're saying and if you do, telling yourself and finding your path...well, that's where heartbreak comes from. I love the song, "God Bless the Broken Road," and the line, "that led me straight to you." I like to think of 'you' as God. And...others. Someday you'll and (cough cough, others) will figure out the one thing that makes their heart whole. And then the broken pieces will fit together, right? I love you chica. Lots. You're in my heart!
ReplyDeleteOh, and also? I think that what we think we want is almost never what's really right for us, but what we feel often is. I think there's a difference, you know? Sometimes when things are totally unexplainable by any logical...explanation, that's when you just have to wait for doors to open I guess. But I think that feelings and emotions are a lot closer to our hearts (and mapping them out so that we can pretend like we know what we're doing with our lives) then desires and wishes are. Does that even make sense? Another cool thing, I think that as you get to know yourself--mapping our your heart--you come to know God. Because isn't he in all of us?
ReplyDeleteOkay, one more thing. Sorry about this. I would much rather talk to you in person, but this post just made me kind of melt and cry inside and then lovingly touch the screen and murmur, 'Katherine...' under my breath a few times. And then I wished upon a falling star that you were here and that I was also here at every second of every day. But the point is, I love you. Tons. Like, so so much. I think that you have an amazing, beautiful, big, warm, caring and (elusive and confusing) heart. I love everything about it. If I was a whole lot like you, I would have it MADE. Next time you need a hug/ice-cream/chocolate/chick flick/talking/anything, call me. I always have time for you. Love you!
that was just a bit melodramatic...
ReplyDeleteJK Love you Kat and miss you mucho!!!